I Miss You

4 days ago
2 min read

26th Christmas - 2001

February 24, 2026

I miss you, Connie! I miss your happiness and spontaneity. The fun you use to have and your silly humor. As of this photo you were enjoying your 26th Christmas. You were always working hard, making things easier for others. Your grandpa had passed away that past spring, so right now you only had your grandma to take care of (her older sister hadn't moved in yet). You had a busy job at the Marriott Hotel working as the Sales and Catering Coordinator (x5 other positions they forced on you) but you could do it...you were a trooper! Your mother (despite having only a few nice things to ever say about you) always said, "Connie is a force to be reckoned with!"...and you were! You were incredible! Energy galore, non-stop, the Energizer Bunny couldn't keep up. You'd ride your bike around the Rideau Canal, get back to your apartment at gran's house, realize that wasn't enough, and head out again the opposite direction. During the winter you'd skate the entire canal, from home at Dows Lake to the Rideau Centre then back home again. You never went anywhere, mostly because you were always working (and had senior family members you were forced to take care of), but also, despite all the work you did, you never had the money to go anywhere because of the people in your life who always took all your money. It's funny to see such a happy smile on someone who only ever got the crappy end of the stick...but you were always so good Connie, such a good girl you were. I miss that girl! I miss that energy! I miss that happiness!! And I miss that smile! The cheer in that smile. The look like there is still hope in that face. That things will only get better. God if you only knew what lay ahead, I wonder if you would have still smiled like that. You were so strong, (sure ya, you had no other choice), but man your strength was unstoppable...until it was finally wiped out...then broken down...then shattered. Fn decades of trauma! Fn chronic illness! I wish I could tell you what was coming! I wonder if it would have made a difference. I wonder if there was anything you could have done to change the outcome. I wish we got a chance to do this all again...not my childhood, I don't want to face that again, it was fn terrifying...but I would like to be you again and see where we could go from there, knowing what I know now. Maybe we could have had a better chance! A better outcome! A better life! Maybe you'd still be here today! I miss you, Connie!

Christmas 2001