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Just Scrambled Eggs

Updated: May 13



A funny bunny head made with scrambled eggs.
Just Scrambled Eggs

 

January 28, 2024


 Just a space to write random things on my mind that may not fit anywhere else.


I would like to introduce myself and give an idea of what my goal is with this website/blog. I am a middle-aged woman with decades of trauma that I am finally able to work through with the help of a number of different treatments, but most importantly psychotherapy. I already do daily journaling and felt online journaling would help with my healing journey and maybe even help someone else on this very lengthy trip. I will be diving into a deep muddy pit of horrific abuse and neglect for the first almost 40 years of my life and I'm hoping to come out of this in as best shape and headspace as I possibly can.

 

I've named my website Just Scrambled Eggs because I feel exactly like that...but I am hopeful and optimistic that I can at least gather myself back together enough to function and have some sort of a life. My mid to late 20's I was starting to turn my life around and then it went back into that muddy pit, but I am now in the best space of my life, and I can finally see light and am diligently working my way out.

 

I have numerous experiences, wonderful and terrible, that have given me some real insight into the world that I live, and it has made me want to share the work that I have accomplished, and have failed, so that maybe it can help guide others along their healing journey as well. I am no expert in anything, mostly just a Jill of All Trades, as I have a multitude of interests, and this will reflect in my writing. I also have ADHD, a Neurological Disorder, which is another reason for my many interests. I am unable to stay focused on one task as I lose interest quickly and my mind runs rampant in many different directions constantly. For many people it's more like “Squirrel” however for me it's “Something Shiny!!!” and then I am gone, completely off track. I am sure my writing will demonstrate this as well, be patient, I like to tell stories within stories until I finally make it to the end...and it may be quite a long story...but for the most part, my stories are pretty compelling.

 

I, of course, will cover many topics, that's just the way I am, and again, I am no professional, it's just going to be what I've lived through, what I've tried, what I have researched, and what I am willing to share. I do have some professional training and experience, but I still suggest you take what I say and make your own conclusions, do your own research, ask the professionals in your healing circle for their advice, I just want to try and help give some insight into my issues and what has, and has not, worked for me. We are all very different and there are no two people that will have the same exact outcomes, so you have to make this about yourself and see what works properly for you. Be smart about it, make sure you're taking all the right steps and of course be your biggest advocate because no one else will do this for you.

 

I will have five main topics of discussion with many subtopics within the main topics. All of which will be easily accessible so that you can choose which direction you would like to go so you don't have to read triggering topics that may not be of interest to you, I don't want to cause anyone pain. The main Topics are: Mental Health, Physical Health, Treatments, Trauma, and Healing with roughly 10 to 20 subtopics in each.

 

I will also share my own photos and videos to help brighten others' days. I live on a beautiful old farm that I rent, and it has helped me so much on my healing journey, and even though it will only be in a picture or video, I am certain it will help others as well. The beauty and joy of our amazing four Canadian seasons, the absolute peace and tranquility of this large property of hay fields and forest, plus the abundance of wildlife right up to the doorstep will provide delight and happiness.

 

I am not a writer; I haven't had a writing class in basically 30 years. I am currently working on some books but mainly I journal plus I am a pretty good storyteller, mostly because I have some very captivating stories to tell. There may be run on sentences and grammatical errors, but the stories will be gripping as they are true accounts of my life. I don't embellish because my stories are intense enough. And I don't lie, largely due to the fact I have a terrible memory and would never remember the lie, but mostly because I just don't like liars, as you will understand when you begin to follow my journey. I totally remember my stories because I survived them, and those, at least for me, don't just erase with time unfortunately. Maybe, however, my healing journey will help me stop ruminating over my crappy past and I will be able to put those memories away and not have to think of them ever again.

 

A bit more about myself, I will be 49 in March, I am a live-on farm hand where we produce hay and firewood and I also help with firewood and maple syrup on the owner's other farm. I have had numerous jobs from a very young age, paid and volunteer, in many different fields but for the most part it had always been in a customer service role. I am also pretty well educated despite my many challenges, with 2 college diplomas and numerous certificates in a few different fields. Not University though, I tried, it was too cold and standoffish which did not suit my personality, so I didn't pursue it further. I grew up on a hobby farm, it's quite a shit story, moved into the city where I took care of 4 senior family members, another story, then was sent to live in the country which will be another story, a quite awful and almost life ending one at that. Now I have lived on this farm for the past 10 winters and wouldn't trade it for the world...this place really is Heaven! The best story of them all!!!


 



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