A Hand Up
- 7 days ago
- 3 min read
March 6, 2026
I had psychotherapy yesterday and I described what I am looking for as this ...
"I am looking for a Hand-Up, not a Hand-Out!"
I am looking for someone to collaborate with. Someone interested in giving me 'a hand up.' I am looking for help to promote my writing and maybe even become a motivational speaker. As of right now, my health is still on the decline and I am working very hard at trying to get better, but that being said, I need to find a way to become self-sufficient in the meantime, with the understanding that this may be my life, this constant illness. I am hoping to at least get my writing out there so I can make a career from that. So far, writing is the least painful for me to do. I am able to write at any time of day, take breaks when my pain is too bad to sit any longer, do what I need to do to help alleviate some of the pain, then come back and write some more. It also brings me great joy to write, to be productive, to use my ADHD creativity for something entertaining. I also find writing to be very cathartic as it helps me clear my head, again especially for the ADHD, but also the CPTSD, to get the chaos out of my mind and onto paper.
I am not looking for a hand-out; I don't want to owe others. I am just hoping to find someone who sees what I have gone through, what I am still going through, what I am trying to accomplish, and feels that I am worthy of their assistance. That they see the strength and determination I have poured into my possible/hopeful future and wants to help me get to that point. My health right now is a lot for me; I am in so much pain that I have slept basically since October. I have had a couple of good days where the pain wasn't horrific, but I have so much I need to do...just basic living...and I have fallen far behind on even just that. I am still writing when I can as it does bring me such happiness. I go to numerous medical appointments every week (that in itself is almost a full-time job). I try to exercise when the pain isn't too bad. I do some of my farm work when I can, but it's getting much harder for me each time I go to do it, causing the pain to erupt, which set my healing back. And to top all that off, I have a neurodivergent brain that doesn't even work right on a good day...so staying on task/organized/motivated is already extremely hard for me with ADHD and CPTSD, then add all this constant terrible pain and unrelenting exhaustion. This is where I really need some assistance.
I need someone to help me promote myself, such as an agent, publishing house, influencer, someone who has a lot of connections. I've always believed in the saying "it's not what you know, but who you know" and I feel that if I could get someone to really see me, they would be absolutely on board to help me further my writing career (and maybe motivational speaker career...if {fingers crossed} I start to get better). I just want to be able to care for myself again, like I did before I got sick. I want to know that if I need to (recognizing I may never get better) I will have the funds to buy mobility devices, keep paying for medical care, change my home so I can still get around, and hopefully have someone come and help me with driving and cleaning. I'm not asking for a lot...I'm not even dreaming of a lot. In reality, my dream is to get better, then I don't have to worry about anything...I can just get a few jobs and pay for my life like I used to...but as it is right now, that, sadly, is not an option. So, my goal is simple, (in my mind anyway), have an accessible house, a reliable comfortable vehicle, and can afford medical appoints/supplies, pay bills, buy food, and hopefully hire a helper.
If you know someone who would be interested in helping a disabled, middle-aged woman who is trying very hard to change her life, I would certainly love to hear from them. Thank you all for your continued support, it truly is appreciated.
